Recently, I’ve seen a lot of articles and videos addressing the rise in cases of youth suffering from various anxiety-related disorders. I’ve also noticed that in the Caribbean culture particularly, many people believe that anxiety and mental illness are not real illnesses and sometimes these disorders are even looked at as excuses or cop-outs. Now, if I am being honest, I sometimes understand where that attitude comes from. I’m not saying that I agree or that anxiety and mental illness do not exist. As someone who suffers from anxiety, I can admit that there are some things I could do to help me cope better but for one reason or another, I haven’t practiced. I am so thankful that in my adolescent and teenage years I did not have too much anxiety as I do as an adult. I came across an interesting article that contained a list of reasons that contribute to teenage anxiety that I’d like to share. I think a big part of finding the solution is first truly identifying the reason or causes for the feelings.
Below is an excerpt from an article by Amy Morin on Psychology Today that I’d like to share. It is a list of 10 reasons why American teens are more anxious than ever.
1. Electronics offer an unhealthy escape
Constant access to digital devices lets kids escape uncomfortable emotions like boredom, loneliness, or sadness by immersing themselves in video games when they were in the car or by chatting on social media when they were sent to their rooms.
And now we’re seeing what happens when an entire generation spent their childhoods avoiding discomfort. Their electronics replaced opportunities to develop mental strength and they didn’t gain the coping skills they need to handle everyday challenges.
2. Happiness is all the rage
Happiness is emphasized so much in our culture right now that some parents think it’s their job to make their kids happy all the time. When a child is sad, his parents cheer him up. Or when he’s angry, they calm him down.
Kids grow up believing that if they don’t feel happy around the clock, something must be wrong. And that creates a lot of inner turmoil. They don’t understand that it’s normal and healthy to feel sad, frustrated, guilty, disappointed, and angry sometimes too.
3. Parents are giving unrealistic praise
Saying things like, “You’re the fastest runner on the team,” or “You’re the smartest kid in your grade,” doesn’t actually build self-esteem. Instead, it puts pressure on kids to live up to their labels. That can lead to a crippling fear of failure or rejection.
4. Parents are getting caught up in the rat race
Many parents have become like personal assistants to their teenagers. They work hard to ensure their teens can compete—they hire tutors and private sports coaches and pay for expensive SAT prep courses.
They make it their job to help their teens build transcripts that will impress an Ivy League school. And they send the message that their teen must excel at everything in order to land a coveted spot in a top college.
5. Kids aren't learning emotional skills
We emphasize academic preparation for life and put little effort into teaching kids the emotional skills they need to succeed. In fact, a national survey of first-year college students revealed that 60 percent of them feel emotionally unprepared for college life.
Knowing how to manage your time, combat stress, and take care of your feelings are key components to living a good life. Without healthy coping skills, it’s no wonder teens are feeling anxious over everyday hassles.
6. Parents view themselves as protectors, rather than guides
Somewhere along the line, many parents began believing their role is to help kids grow up with as few emotional and physical scars as possible. They became so overprotective that their kids never practiced dealing with challenges on their own. Consequently, these kids grew up believing they’re too fragile to cope with the realities of life.
7. Adults don't know to help kids face their fears the right way
On one end of the spectrum, you’ll find parents who push their kids too hard. They force their children to do things that terrify them. On the other end of the spectrum, you’ll find parents who don’t push their kids at all. They let their kids opt out of anything that sounds anxiety-provoking.
Exposure is the best way to conquer fear but only when it’s done incrementally. Without practice, gentle nudging, and guidance, kids never gain confidence that they can face their fears head-on.
8. Parents are parenting out of guilt and fear
Parenting stirs up uncomfortable emotions, like guilt and fear. But rather than let themselves feel those emotions, many parents are changing their parenting habits.
They don’t let their kids out of their sight because it stirs up their anxiety. Or, they feel so guilty saying no to their kids that they back down and give in. Consequently, they taught their kids that uncomfortable emotions are intolerable.
9. Kids aren't being given enough free time to play
While organized sports and clubs play an important role in kids’ lives, adults make and enforce the rules. Unstructured play teaches kids vital skills, like how to manage disagreements without an adult refereeing. And solitary play teaches kids how to be alone with their thoughts and how to be comfortable in their own skin.
10. Family hierarchies are out of whack
Although kids give off the impression they’d like to be in charge, deep down they know they aren’t capable of making good decisions. They want their parents to be leaders—even when there is dissension in the ranks. And when the hierarchy gets muddled—or even flipped upside down—kids’ anxiety skyrockets.